Over the last few months I’ve been lucky enough to interview some of the worlds most accomplished people who still live at home and ask them about what they’ve done to achieve such remarkable levels of professional and personal success. Their answers had a lot in common which I have boiled down to these nine habits that you can incorporate into your own life.
1. They eliminate distractions
Highly successful people are disciplined and focused. They keep their workspaces free from clutter and highly organized so they can focus on doing work rather than searching for things. The traffic light is only red for so long so it’s vitally important that their CD wallet is always within arms reach and that their Discman-to-cassette adapter is plugged in and ready to go. When you’ve got to get there in 30 minutes or less you don’t want to waste any time getting that Megadeth CD blaring over the stereo of your ’98 Geo Metro.
2. They outsource mundane tasks
You’re probably unaware of it but a lot of time is wasted on menial tasks. Highly successful people are always aware of where their time is going which is why they outsource day-to-day tasks like cooking, cleaning and laundry to their mothers. After all, she’s doing a load so the net impact of the 3 – 4 baskets of laundry they’ve accumulated in their basement bedroom will be negligible. They’re making use of what experts call economy of scale. They know there is no benefit in learning skills that others have already mastered. They’ll probably just screw it up so it’s better to let her do it.
3. They make time for themselves
Whether it’s spending hours online looking for bad-ass swords to add to their collection or watching as they feed live mice to their pet snake “David Boa”, they know its important to have hobbies that allow you to unwind and de-stress.
4. They wake up early
Surveys show that most successful people get up before noon. If their work day starts at 4PM, they will have eaten a couple Pop-Tarts; smoked some pot; watched the Price Is Right and two re-runs of “Who’s the Boss” and rubbed one out all before they arrive half an hour late to their job.
5. They dress for success
Nothing says “tip the delivery guy” like a dragon print bowling shirt and a freshly un-crumpled set of cargo shorts. Highly successful people know you only get one chance at a first impression so it’s important to let people know how much they love Slayer when choosing their wardrobe. If you haven’t already, invest in a good pair of black Crocs that can go with any outfit. But what do successful people consider the most important style tip? Ponytails. Goatees and Ponytails.
6. They’re constantly networking
You can’t say “a buddy and me are thinking about maybe opening a vape shop” without a robust pool of acquaintances. Successful people dedicate a couple of hours each day to like and comment on the Facebook profiles of people they met in middle school. They know that a lot of those people may have continued to be socially active and may have continued to make new friends. That’s why successful people don’t shy away from self promotion and letting everyone know they still exist and are awesome for having never left their home town.
7. They travel
It’s important to open yourself up to new experiences and see the world from different perspectives. This is why the most successful people will sometimes go to the other McDonalds. Not the good one, but the one across town that’s managed by that cross eyed chick they went to high school with who gives them extra fries cause she probably wants to bang them. It can be eye opening to see a place that at first seems so familiar but in actuality has the drive-through on the other side of the building.
8. They aren’t afraid to say no
It’s easy to commit yourself to too much as we often feel guilty turning people down. But whether it’s paying back their student loans from that one semester of community college they flunked out of, or helping their mother with some chores because “it’s time you started pulling your weight around here”, if they’re not passionate about it they’re not afraid to say no. They dedicate their time and energy to projects they truly care about.
9. They know how to take criticism
Successful people know what they’re setting out to accomplish and don’t listen to naysayers. They know that comments like “You know your uncle Jarod is struggling with his kidney thing and needs a lot of help. I’m over there almost every day and really need you to step up” or “You’re late again! How many times do we have to have this conversation? This is coming out of your pay.” come from jealous people who resent them for having the courage to succeed. They ignore those people and focus on constructive criticism like “Dude, I bet we could get real good at MMA if we wanted!” or “Whatever, that cross eyed chick is probably a lesbian anyway.”
The Force Awakens shattered box office records this weekend, as millions flocked to the theater to see the latest installment of the sci-fi adventure set in a galaxy far far away. But if you needed any more proof that Star Wars isn’t just for nerds anymore take a look at this comprehensive list of audience member’s professions that show how Star Wars fans come from all walks of life:
- Massage Therapist
- Executive Assistant
- Assistant to the Executive Assistant
- Executive Assistant to the Executive Assistant
- Executive Being Assisted
- Super Villain
- Super Accountant
- Accountant (No Such thing as a Super Accountant)
- Swarthy Millionaire
- Swarthy Billionaire
- Chimpanzee Wrangler
- Chimpanzee (Wrangled)
- Chimpanzee (Un-wrangled)
- Doctor (Philosophy)
- Doctor (Sociology)
- Doctor (English Literature)
- Doctor (Real)
- Ed Gein Enthusiast
- Software Engineer
- Hunter (Deer)
- Hunter (Rabbit)
- Hunter (Most Dangerous Game)
- Seeker (Harry Potter)
- Seeker (Waldo)
- Mechanic (automobile)
- Mechanic (Aircraft)
- Mechanic (Horse)
- Customer Service Representative
- Technical Support Specialist
- Special Support Technician
- Dentist (Colgate)
- Dentist (Colgate)
- Dentist (Colgate)
- Dentist (Colgate)
- Dentist (Needlessly Contrarian)
- Doctor (butt stuff)
- Candlestick Maker
- Still Don’t know what I do around here
- Movie Theatre Projectionists (obviously)
- President of the United States of America
- Man Hired by JJ Abrams to Make Sure George Lucas Doesn’t get anywhere near Star Wars.
- Not George Lucas
- George Lucas Lookalike
- Professional Speed Dater
- Professional Speed Dealer
- Serial Killer
- Killer from “Serial”
- Vet (military)
- Vet (animal doctor)
- IT (Information Technology)
- IT (tag)
- Police Officer (June)
- Firefighter (September)
- Paramedic (February)
- Pet and Restaurant Licensing Clerk (November)
- Photographer for “Sexy Men of Lincoln County Civil Service” 2016 Calendar
- Mathemagician (butt stuff)
- Oracle of Delphi
- Cheeseman (maker)
- Cheeseman (made of)
- One of a thousand hot girls in your area waiting to chat if you sign up now.
Hey, here’s a fun internet trick: In the Facebook search bar type “Rock” “Country” or “Hits” followed by a number between 88 and 108 and you’ll have instant access to all the share-bait you could ever want. I don’t know why radio stations have become the default repository of pixelated JPEGS of moderately amusing things, but the trend is undeniable. Years from now internet archeologists will stumble upon these pages and wonder what any of it had to do with “music”.
This particular one is brought to you by Rock 103, who provide an emphatic “yup” in support of “I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over”. Really? You had a childhood before there was technology?
What technology was that? Did you mean Facebook? iPhones? The internet?
Or did you mean television, radio, airplanes, antibiotics, electricity, the cotton gin, pasteurized milk, the steam engine, iron ploughs, the ox cart, written language, bronze tools, waterwheels, agriculture, domestication of animals, stone cutting tools, or one of those long sticks used to poke termite nests?
Seriously, don’t even get me started on termite poking sticks. Used to be you’d have to dig up those nests by hand, get your nails all dirty while you frantically shoved the juiciest of those maggot-like ants into your mouth. Kids today! Amiright?
And while growing up without technology puts you in the very enviable position of being “The Ancient One”, walking the earth for millennia, witnessing the rise and fall of countless civilizations, and to whom a human lifespan is but a fleeting moment quickly lost in the ever expanding ocean of time, it has not taught you that things change.
Every generation for all of human history has had new technology that corrupts youth, destroys society and distracts us from whats really important. Youth are lazy and too reliant on technology. Parents are stubborn and out of touch. Parents die. Youth become parents. The cycle begins anew. We’ve been doing this since someone decided to cook their food with fire rather than die of food poisoning, and so far we’re doing okay.
Technology isn’t ruining childhoods. Except for radio station Facebook pages. I think those might actually be messing people up.