Posts Tagged

commercial

Advertising Toilet Paper

There are really only two reasons you would like or share this photo:

  1. You are a child and laugh at any mention of toilet paper, toilets or anything to do with bodily functions. In which case, whatever. We were all eight at one point. It’s a phase you’ll get over it.
  2. You are an adult  who has absolutely no idea how capitalism works.

I don’t expect you to have a PhD in economics or anything but you have got to know that there is more than one company that sells toilet paper. There is no state-run monolithic Toilet Paper Company. On the most basic level this is why we fought the Cold War. We nearly nuked Cuba into a smouldering pit in the middle of the ocean all in defence of having entire aisles dedicated to an insanely overwhelming selection of toilet paper. (Editors note: We fought Korea for the cereal aisle, and Vietnam was all about the right to hold Tupperware parties). It’s pretty common knowledge. I’d put good money on school kids being able to name more brands of toilet paper than US Presidents. Then you come along “OMG! LOL! SO TRUE! SHARE, SHARE, SHARE. LIKE LIKE LIKE. What a waste of money! Why are they advertising a product everyone uses?!?!”

Well, if you pay really close attention you’ll notice that toilet paper companies don’t spend a lot of time convincing you to USE toilet paper. They don’t go on TV and say,”Hey you, if you’re not wiping your butt with cellulose from a tree after you poop you’re a horrible, unsanitary, monster.”

They’re not even saying, “Hey, we’re the only company who makes this stuff. Believe me, we’d rather be doing something else too but it’s our duty to society so buy it and don’t be horrible, unsanitary, monster.”

No, most of the advertising for toilet paper says something like “Hey, we know you’re going to use this anyway but boy, oh boy it sure would be swell if you bought it from us. You see, we’re different from those other toilet paper companies. We’ve got waves and ripples,  pleats and troughs, grooves and contours, thick and plump rolls full of  double the absorbent and clean sheets. So buy our toilet paper otherwise you’re a horrible, unsanitary, monster.” You’re asking why there are commercials when they’re literally explaining why in their commercials.

Perhaps the simplest explanation as to why they advertise toilet paper is that there are people who will share this picture so there are people out there so obviously clueless about how things actually are that maybe they do need to be told to use toilet paper.