"We kept this milk too long and it turned gross and solid but we kept the gross solid longer and it didn't get any more grosser so we should probably turn keeping milk too long into an art form" - Inventors of cheese

Since moving in with my girlfriend 90% of my creative writing has consisted of singing songs to her cat.

TFW you’re too bow legged to ever trip on your shoe laces

So I’ve been waiting patiently but I gotta ask: When does the whole “more energy” thing kick in with exercise? Seems like I’ve been in the “tired, stiff and don’t want to do it” phase for months.

Jut saw a guy juggling while running and I’ve never wanted to trip someone so badly