.@katangus: (hugs me) Just showing you some affection. Me: I affect you too. Her: with an “a” or an “e”? Me: ....I have no idea.

He crawls into the bag and lets me carrying him around (usually from the floor to the couch) twitter.com/katangus/statu…

Just got this sweet @comedybar swag delivered! Thanks! pic.twitter.com/EvyRIdRKAf

What idiot called aerial combat dogfighting and not birdfighting? “So after climbing up to lose them in the clouds I dropped down behind, you know, like a dog”

Me: Goodbye old mattress. You’ve hurt my back for the last time *pulls back hauling old mattress to the garbage* Old Mattress: pic.twitter.com/VYBRdbZYKc